ShatteredMinds

That’s what the swedish newspaper Aftonbladet tries to profile parents as. Yet again they have an article about internet security, that you as a parent should talk to your kids and ask what pages are they on, what do they do there and a whole lot more.

WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? Kids are human and needs privacy too, you dumbfucks! If I was a kid again and I had to tell my mother what pages I am browsing on daily basis and what not, I’d probably would be in some sort of a quarantine, getting buzzed by cattleprods, and strapped to a chair like in A Clockwork Orange. And if I had kids myself, which is highly unlikely, they would probably hate me for looking over their shoulder when browsing Youporn. Holy shit, there’s porn on the internet! Oh my god! God doesn’t exist though, just people who believe in that fictional book called The Holy Bible…

Not just does the latest article talk about that parents should be overprotective, it also links to many other articles in the past. The comedy goldmine is the MSN-language one, about kids talking in a secret made up gibberish language. Yeah, made up, cause the reporter obviously had zero experience with chatting in general and made up a billion phrases. Let me pull out an example out of the made up chatlog: “K helst B4 5… e U Rdy för lite Ql?”. Even I who have grown up with the chat lingo, can’t fucking understand it. Translated it says “Ok, helst tillbaka klockan fem, är du redo för lite kul?”, which is “Ok, wanna be back 5 o’clock … ready for some fun?” in english.
It freaks me out a bit, “ready for some fun”? Sounds like a hooker but the made up chatlog says it’s made by a 12 year old girl. Probably a run-away from a mental institution … hey I can call her what ever I want, she is made up, remember? And so the article follows by a list of strange fucking phrases, and if I find anyone using just a handful of them, I’d probably tell them to seek help. Reading the discussionforum on the topic, pretty much everyone point out who ridiculous the article is.

Moving on, they talk about how to protect children from gaining access to porn on the internets. “Insert filters on the computers”, they say. “Parents are too dumb to do that, according to what you’ve said”, I say. And this brings up questions: Is porn dangerous? Is our natural reproduction cycle/method a crime? Why does sick bastards enjoy eating others feces?
Probably due to they do not want children to have sex before mature age, I agree on that, but it’s starting to come to a point where they portrait anything related to sex as a crime against humanity.

And so they bring up pedophiles, that children chat with strangers and meet up with them. Fuck - that. You probably deserve being kidnapped and what ever if you agree to meet up with some lunatic stranger who use some dodgy username (see: Dateline - To Catch A Predator) on some chat. It’s funny I never see them use IRC and shit, when it’s on TV. It’s always some software or chatroom that you find in the most darkest corners on this planet. If you are going to meet up with a stranger nicknamed moistDick91, ask for phonenumbers and things that validate they are real (pictures of their genitalia does not count). If he\she is more than a mile away, don’t fucking bother. You’re not getting any anyways.

Last, it also links to some article about 99 freeware applications to protect, boost, explode, etc etc your computer. Of course you got to have one of those retarded newspaper online subscriptions to even view it. Since I don’t want to waste my precious cold hard money on such crap, I’ll list freeware applications myself in a later post.